200% Happy

At 18 weeks 3 days pregnant, I found out I was having a boy. I was 25% happy. 10% happy that Nick would have a son and 10% happy that the Salzwedel name could be carried on (Nick is the only son of an only son and so forth for like 10 generations) and 5% happy I would be able to maybe, one day, have a mother-son relationship mothers of sons so enrapturedly speak of...and let me tell you they can go on and on and on about it - ie: "My son and I held hands every minute of every day until he went to preschool then he felt he was big enough to not need me. I cried myself to sleep that night." Okay maybe that is a bit of an embellishment but for those of you who know who I am referencing, pretty spot on.

The week before we found out, we were in Paris. I was sure I was having a girl. I mean sure like mothers-intuition-sure-calling-her-by-name-sure-buying-her-clothes-sure-envisioning (more like planning)-her-wedding-sure-praying-for-her-husband-sure. I mean SURE. Just to hammer this whole SURE thing home - in Paris we went to this amazing discount designer baby clothes shop. It had probably 40 bins full of designer baby clothing and before even CONSIDERING for one second shopping in the baby boy bin, I hit the baby girl bin like a mother running for a Tickle Me Elmo on Black Friday. I bought 200 dollars worth of French designer baby girl clothing only to come home to find out that Cruz well was Cruz and would not be wearing one stitch of French baby clothing.

I am sure you can imagine how this new news of - BLUE - would come to change the next 4 months of my life. No more dreaming of pink, purple, darling baby girl clothes, mother/daughter bff time, Miss Washington pageants, shopping, mani/pedis, and LARGE and in charge hair bows. Nope. No more. Instead it was all about wrestling, MMA, faux hawks, polos and button ups, daddy/son bff time...and...OMG, I realized I don't know ANYTHING about boys!!!!

THEN. In one split second it all changed. It changed the second I got to officially meet the most precious baby boy God could have ever created on January 29, 2011. He came out 2 1/2 weeks early faster and more ready than his mama was prepared for. Covered in 'birth', our eyes met - his squinty and beautifully almond shaped like his mothers and mine tired (it was 2am) and wide with awe - and I knew, all along, I was supposed to be a mother to this incredible baby boy. God wanted ME to be Cruz's mom.

Seriously - I still don't know anything about boys but I sure know everything about my Cruz.

• I know he is so obsessed with his daddy, it makes me sick and so jealous. Nick can make Cruz smile and laugh more than anyone I know.
• I know how he needs his orange star blankie and binkie to fall asleep.
• I know how he likes to be cuddled in the middle of the night when he wakes up from a bad dream.
• I know how he loves his puppies. Yesterday on our walk, he stared at Liam the whole time and smiled. For the entire 45 minutes.
• I know how he loves his cousins. He loves Lucy's hugs and totally lets Trey pull his hair or grab his face.
• I know how he takes his bottle - by wrapping one hand around the bottle and the other around my index finger.
• I know his smell. His precious milky, vanilla/oatmeal, smell. It is the best smell in the world.
• I know the exact moment when he gets too tired and is ready for his nap.
• I know how he hates tummy time and doesn't like the tart taste of apples.
• I know how he will react when I kiss him. He opens his mouth slightly to anticipate me kissing him all over his pouchy lips.
• I know where his tickle spots are at. His feet, his arm pits and his small sweet neck

*One Week

*One Month

*Three Months

*Five 1/2 Months

I simply can't imagine life without my boy.

Go ahead and ask me now how happy I am that I have been blessed beyond measure to be Cruz's mom?! 200% happy.

I am 200% happy that Nick and I get to raise a boy who loves Jesus, who respects his elders, who is loving and kind to everyone he meets, who is polite, who is hard working, who knows what it means to provide for his family, who can respect women and love his wife like God loves the church and to cherish his family now and the family he will eventually be blessed with. Ps: Can I just say I cannot WAIT to meet his wife and am praying daily she is nice and cute and likes me.

Nick and I both know we only want 2 children. If God decides a baby girl will complete our family then fantastic (and Miss Washington here we come :)) but if he decides Cruz needs a brother and we need another beautiful dark haired baby boy to make us whole then bring it on. I will be more than ready.