Saturday, December 29, 2012

Sex, reflection and resolution

I am totally stealing an idea.

It came from Pinterest and is for 10 year olds.

Not surprising for me though these days.

The other day I was listening to a Focus on the Family radio program about sex driving home from my parent's house. Christian author Dannah Gresh was speaking about her book, What Are You Waiting For?: The One Thing No One Ever Tells You about Sex. Specifically about the ground breaking science that explains the addictive power of intimacy - I mean, can you even handle the fact that God designed the brain to release a chemical during sex to bond one person to another??! She also addressed how to break free from a "soul tie" and from sexual guilt.

I was so into each sentence she uttered that I couldn't just turn off the car when I pulled into the garage. I ended up finishing the program on my iPhone while simultaneously getting Cruz in his jammies and ready for bed. The second the program was over I was on Amazon researching the book knowing it was a total God thing I even caught wind of it in the first place...the subject hit a little too close to home.

Turns out the book also addresses topics like masturbation, pornography and speaks frankly about the lesbian question. Done and done. I seem to love researching inappropriate topics like these and bringing them up at inappropriate times.

During the program, Gresh, made it a point to mention the importance of an accountability partner if attempting to break a "soul tie" - I guess it is not for the weak at heart.

Greattttttt.

So, I call Lauren, ask her to be my person and ask if she would be willing to read the book with me. After all she knows my relationship past better than I do.

It wasn't long after looking into it that she calls me.

"Ashley, did you know it was written for 14 year old girls?"

Okay okay. So it is written for young girls. We still ordered the book and are starting it today. I'm confident the introduction to Dannah was no accident. I need it. And one day I can pass it down to my 15 year old daughter who will come home from school to tell me about a boy. The same experience I remember all too well. Unfortunately it is the same experience that has lead me here.

Book review to come...

Anyway. Back to the idea I stole. From the 10 year old. A twist on reflection and resolution.

WHAT A YEAR IT HAS BEEN!
A Little About Me
Name: Ashley Ann Westerberg Salzwedel
Age: 29
Favorite color/s: Plum and almost every form of orange - from peach to tangerine.
Favorite food: A tie between Thai and a piping hot fudge-y brownie.
Favorite activity: A tie between my daily mini dates with Cruz and planning/dreaming about our fixer upper with Nick. All he has to do to get my undivided attention is start talking about our remodel.
Favorite book: They didn't say favorite bible study so I can't say The Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer or Beth Moore's Daniel: Lives of Integrity, Words of Prophecy. Both amazing. Both LIFE. CHANGING. They said favorite book. So most def it would be The Hunger Games trilogy - with Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn as a close, close second.

Highlights Of 2012
Greatest lesson learned: Not to get distracted by a gnat in my lip gloss! 
"Spiritual maturity is rarely more obvious than in our ability to discern the difference between true peril and a gnat in our lip gloss. We, as a culture and as a nation, find ourselves in serious times. As I consider our "times", I don't only want to be fortified against the influences of wickedness. I want to be an active influence for Christ. ---I want to want a heart that burns with fiery passion for Christ and for a world He came to save. ---I want an outpouring of the Holy Spirit on my very own head! I want to take my place in the times to which I have been entrusted. Don't you?" - Beth Moore
YES YES and a BIG FAT YES!
Hardest thing of the year: Dealing with the terminal illness and eventual passing of Nick's step mom, Laurie Salzwedel. This Valentine's Day letter I wrote to Nick three days before she died might be my favorite blog post of the year.
Favorite memory: There are a million things I could talk about here - Cruz's first birthday, Hawaii with my incredibly sexy, very talented salesman of a husband, getting to stay at home with my favorite boy, finding out we would be welcoming baby Salzwedel #2 in 2013, Cruz's amazing progress this summer...but my favorite memory of the year BY far was learning we were going to be parents to a baby girl! Clinks pulled out all the stops to make it such a special evening for Nick and I. No kidding I have watched the reveal video we posted on Facebook a MILLION times. To date my eyes water. I really never ever imagined in a million years that God would bless me with the deepest desire of my heart...a daughter.
What I loved most about 2012: I am sure it because baby girl is set to arrive any day now but my favorite thing about 2012 was every single moment it was just Nick, Cruz and I. In our bed on Saturday mornings, out to dinner on Friday nights, car rides to the LC Valley, slow walks up and down the serene streets of Liberty Lake, lunch dates, family swim time, Target adventures, or lazy evenings reading books all cuddled together in Cruz's bedroom. As excited I am to be able to give Cruz a sister, I am sad our family of 3 will be no longer. Because of that, I will forever hold 2012 in a very special place in my heart.

Looking Forward To 2013
What to learn: More and more about the amazing God I serve. The Dream Table's study of Daniel has amazed me, and changed me in every way possible. The number one thing it has taught me is just how incredibly fortunate I am to even have an opportunity TO KNOW the Creator of the Universe. The Great I Am. The beginning and the end.
Want to get better at: 1. I want to be a better wife to my husband. 2. I want to drastically change my prayer life. Be Daniel. I want to be a person someone not only thinks of but GOES TO when needing prayer because they know I will warrior up for them. 3. Since we haven't welcomed baby girl into our family yet, I can't say this with absolute certainty...so while presumptive now, I am sure it won't be when: I want to be better at being a GREAT mom to two.
Biggest goal: Following through on my heart's desire to serve, mentor, counsel teen moms/moms to be.

The One Word I Want For Myself In 2013
One word: Discernment.

I would love to know yours...
Happy New Year to you my loves!
xo

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Showered with love

Isn't it always true??

"I have the best friends and family in the history of friends and family." 

Well in my case it is absolutely true. 

When I found out I was pregnant with this baby I told my sister that I didn't want a baby shower. ESPECIALLY if we were expecting a boy. There is something about asking loved ones for another baby gift that really makes me feel funny. Plus if I'm honest - there wasn't much this baby needed boy or girl. Remember, I had already stockpiled girl clothing from when I though Cruz was most definitely a baby girl and most all of my baby boy accessories are fairly gender neutral. Well MUCH to my surprise we found out we were expecting a baby girl. Not only did that bring about a whole new level of excitement and shopping, but the words baby and shower reemerged. 

I knew, that with my particular taste and style, I would be the one responsible filling her closet with clothing. So with that in mind, my sister's feisty insistence ("Ashleyyyy, it is my last opportunity to throw my sister a baby shower...."), and my dear dear friend Kelly's desire to get involved - an accessory baby shower for baby girl Salzwedel was born. No big thing. Just my closest friends and family. Celebrating the fact that I, in a few short weeks, will be welcoming a DAUGHTER!


It was perfect in every way. A festive brunch that glowed beside my sister's beautifully decorated home. Gifts filled with love and generosity piled under my sister's Christmas tree. Fellowship and laughter with some of my very favorite people on the earth. I mean, honestlyyyyyy.


I know I have said it a few times but to the two hosts of the morning: thank you! Thank you for ALWAYS going out of your way to make me feel so special. Always. It was all perfect because of you two!



This baby is sure lucky...and very blessed. She now has more shoes than any person I know. And lots of pink bows. She even got a few pieces of jewelry for the hospital and a gift certificate to Silver Safari from Aunt Lauren so that at 3 months old she can get her ears pierced (Aunt Lauren, you know us all too well)! I can't WAIT for that! If I could, I would pierce those ears in the hospital!


I will leave you with this - a message I left with each one of the people who came. It is also a message to those who wanted to be there but couldn't. I am thankful for EACH ONE OF YOU!


I am certain that God has blessed me with the most loving, caring, devoted, faithful, awe inspiring group of friends and family on earth. You have all touched my life fiercely which is why I couldn't that God any more that it will be YOU all who my daughter will look up to. Thank you all so much for showing myself and Baby Salz some love and for taking time out of your life to be here. I can't wait till she arrives...it will be a great honor and deep pleasure to introduce you to our daughter. 
Mad love, Ash

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

36 weeks



Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: As I write this? 36 weeks, 4 days. 
Total Weight Gain: 26 lbs. Today I had my 36 week apt. Stepping on the scale to find out my number hadn't changed even an ounce since two weeks ago was honestly the best Christmas present I could have ever given myself...especially considering Christmas Eve I ate 7 or 8 (stopped counting) fist size chocolate chip cookies. Fresh out of the oven. A little under cooked. Best ever. 
Maternity Clothes:  Maternity leggings, black yoga pants, camis and zip ups the rest of the way. 
Stretch Marks: Nick freaked out the other day when I came out of my bathroom naked. Staring at my belly he gasped and told me my belly button looked disfigured, bruised and badly beaten. I mean, I will give him that. Not only is he dead right but it is also FULLY out - the top a little more protruded than the bottom. Ewwwwww. Turns out my belly button is one giant puffy stretched out little thing. It now happily joins the stretch mark I told you about in my last update. 
Best Moment this Week: My appointment today was pretty amazing. Started off on a high note stepping on that scale and other than the Strep B test (where they swab your hole) it kept getting better. Not only am I 2 cm. dilated but Doctor B scheduled me a weight check ultrasound for January 2nd. All signs now point to baby girl being between 7-8 lbs at 40 weeks but with Cruz estimated at 9-11 at 40, he just wants to be sure. 
Miss Anything: Too many things to mention and it is almost bed time...but honestly, now that I am that close, I am kinda sad it all is coming to an end. Totally bittersweet. 
Movement: She is low. And head down. This means I feel knees, buns, feet mostly but what is REALLY nuts and totally crazy is when her head or hands hit my bladder or cervix. It is the most stop you in your tracks feeling EVER. Nick will often see my face when this happens and ask me what is wrong. When I tell him he goes, "oh." Ummm OH?! I wish you, Nicholas, had a 6 lb child punching you in the penis all day then you MAY have an idea as to how I feel. 
Cravings: Umm check out my newest can't live without it craving - a mini bottle of pulp free orange juice. I step foot into Albertsons and immediately, without skipping a beat, stroll down the breakfast aisle to grab and then down my mini bottle. I am so that lady who brings empty containers with me to the check-out guy. I  know that I could buy a gallon jug of pulp free orange juice so I can indulge at home but there is something about the mini bottle that really REALLY does it for me. As we speak I am planning out my tomorrow morning in my head cause I HAVE TO HAVE a mini oj. Have to.
Gender: GIRL!
Name: We have a name....kinda wished we didn't though because this really hot mommy blogger/photographer I follow recently had a baby girl and named her Parker. Parker London Rose. I mean....HONESTLY....how AMAZING???? I am beyond obsessed and totally pissed at myself for not coming up with Parker for a baby girl myself. 
Labor Signs: I make them up. Contractions? Sure. Extra discharge? Totally. Hey 2 cm. is something but other than that I got nothing. 
Symptoms: Two are currently ruling my life. Heartburn and pressure.  
Happy or Moody: Umm...I guess moody but honestly just uncomfortable. That alone is the reason I am moody. 
Wedding Rings - on or off: On.  
Looking Forward to: My ultrasound next week followed by baby girl's arrival! I wonder if I will even get to next week's apt.?! Oh and I can't wait to share her completed nursery with you. I spent all of last week cleaning, organizing and  putting things in their spot. All bags are packed too btw (just have to add my designer hospital gown thanks to sissy dearest - major love)! Nick finished her changing table and hung shelves. It is looking more amazing than I could have even hoped. Her name is now official and hanging over her crib (thanks to my wildly talented friend Lindsey) which is why I can't show you everything just yet but trust me, it is good. 

Here are just a few fruits of my labor...and Nick's too. 






Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas

Today we are thankful for the Ancient of Days and for the opportunity to witness Jesus crowned King of the universe once and for all.

Many blessings to our loved ones and much love.

Xo,
The Salzwedels
Nick, Ashley, Cruz, Baby Girl, Bianca and Liam

Monday, December 10, 2012

34 weeks



Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: As I write this? 34 weeks, 3 days. 
Total Weight Gain: 22 lbs. Find out my current total this afternoon at my appointment (I will update later today). Getting real close to the once a week apt. schedule. **UPDATE 12/12 - 4lbs. Total as of Monday? 26lbs. Oh and the waddling? I guess I have arthritis of the pelvic bone. Nice, huh?! I am SO done. Positive? My pain and pressure now has a name. 
Maternity Clothes:  More comfy than maternity. Seriously, I am getting pretty sick of dressing like a bum. Even my mom told me last night that I need a new sweatshirt. I guess I wear the same one too often?! Well when you feel 42 weeks pregnant, have a belly as big as a 40 lb medicine ball, AND you don't have any kind of dress code to abide by during the day then....
I am ready to fit in my wardrobe again!
Stretch Marks: Oh you guys...I am so depressed. After 32 weeks of typing the word NO in this section I am afraid I can't do that anymore. I have one red stretch mark on my right side perfectly aligned under my right nipple. I have never been opposed to plastic surgery (feel free to judge away) so one day, if (more like when) I need a slight nip and tuck, I will have the doctor just cut it away. Until then I am off to find a really hot one-piece. AFTER I Isagenix, of course. 
Best Moment this Week: My baby shower - which was the best EVER. I am not going to say too much here because it is the subject of my next blog post...so stay tuned. It was so so sooooo special.   
Miss Anything: Sitting comfortably on the couch...or in the car... 
I tried to curl up for The Dark Knight Rises yesterday afternoon and lasted 23 minutes. For the remaining 2 hours I had to sit at the edge of the couch with two pillows behind my back at a 90 degree angle.The ONLY way my right side (upper back and ribs) doesn't BURN is if I am standing, laying totally flat or am sitting at a 90.
Movement: We are finally at the stage of the pregnancy where I can feel body parts and I LOVE IT! Makes Nick gag. If she isn't practicing on the speed bag she is doing slow motion karate moves. My favorite is when I feel a knee/leg/foot or a bum slowly roll across my belly - protruding, making me look disfigured - then moving right back into place.  
Cravings: Brownies and Arby's mozzarella sticks. Take an 8 1/2 month pregnant woman whose favorite food BEFORE baby was cheese and bread and introduce her to Arby's fried cheese sticks....yeah, OMGGGGGGGGGG! I now want them every day. Side note: usually I am an excellent food sharer even when I beyond love what I am eating. Well, yesterday when Nick asked for one of my sticks I flat out said no. Like, HANDS OFF YOU SNEAKY SNOOK (too much Jake and the Neverland Pirates). And I didn't even think twice about. No guilt here. If you wanted a stick, Nick, you should have ordered some yourself. 
Gender: Sweet, precious baby GIRL!
Name: ???
Labor Signs: An occasional contraction here and there but nothing to freak out over. I was texting my friend last night who is 3 weeks ahead of me. She was planning on taking today off from work to get everything packed and ready to go. While I do have baby's bag packed we would be FAR from ready if my water broke today. Ashley inspired me to GET ON IT! Remember?? I was sobbing when my water broke with Cruz because NOTHING was done. I refuse to have that happen to me this time. BY Christmas (we are celebrating out at Newman) the car seat will be installed, ALL hospital bags will be packed, Cruz's bag will be packed, house will be cleaned, gel mani/pedi will be done, meals cooked and frozen, and Liam's vet registration complete JUST IN CASE. By then I will be 36 1/2 weeks prego! Better be safe than sorry. Plus I want...no NEED an epidural and since we will be 45 minutes away from the hospital out at my parents house, IF something should happen I need to get to the hospital STAT. I am not going to risk a painful delivery on my life...especially since everyone says it will be WAY faster than the first (which was really fast).
Symptoms: I am officially waddling. Like a baby duck that can't walk well. AND I thought I was waddling before...HAAAAAAAAAA. 
I mean the pressure and lower crotch pain is OUT OF THIS WORLD.  
Happy or Moody: Does moody mean severely emotional? Cause if it does, I am MOODYYYY. I cry at everything and can't seem to help it. It is horrible. I can't wait to return back to hormonally balanced Ashley. Hey good news... especially for Nick....when I am not crying, I am pretty happy. Pretty sure it has something to do with seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. 
Wedding Rings - on or off: On.  
Looking Forward to: Celebrating Christ's birth, nesting and waiting. I am so close I can feel it. 

**OMG I only got to snap one more picture pregnant with Cruz before I went into labor. HOPE HOPE HOPE this is the case for baby girl.
***And just for fun, here is a picture comparison for you. 34 weeks with Cruz and then with baby girl. Ohhhh how I wish I was in Mexico...




Friday, December 7, 2012

Nursery Peeks

We haven't finished the nursery yet but are making amazing progress. Here are some sneak peeks to hold you over until it is all the way done!

I am beyond loving how it is turning out!





**Sarah G., what an amazing prop for her newborn shoot!! Can you picture a naked baby with a giant headband laying on this bad boy?!







Happy Friday! xo