You must be that high maintenance to post a sign.
Really, a sign? For your front door?
Your kids aren't trained to sleep through anything?
My kids are totally going to sleep through loud music, house parties and most certainly the UPS MAN.
I know. I know. Feel free to judge me because I am judging myself just typing those thoughts. It was not till this weekend where I actually was able to reflect after TWOOOOOOO incidents that left me with rage I didn't know existed. I was two seconds away from kicking a hole in my hall closet and punching Liam in the nose. NOT. KIDDING.
Nick went to Boise with some of his besties to watch the UFC title fight after his Christmas party, early Saturday morning. This left Cruz and I to fend for ourselves before the babysitter arrived and I took off for my dad's company Christmas party.
Incident #1
Time of incident: 10:10am
Description of incident: Cruz woke up for the day around 7:30am. I scooped him from his crib, changed his wet diaper and brought him into bed with me where we proceeded to watch Dora the Explorer for another half an hour.
We ate breakfast at 8:30, got in the bath at 9 and was totally ready for our morning nap by 9:30am. Usually Cruz will sleep for a good hour and a half - ever since he was 8 weeks old, we have had him on killer schedule! It is imperative that he get both a great morning AND afternoon nap or else we have trouble on our hands. I tell you what, nothing stresses me out more than disturbing Cruz's precious schedule for that reason alone.
10:10am comes around - Cruz has now been sleeping for 40 minutes - when the doorbell rings. Uggggggggg. Liam starts barking and that's it. Cruz starts screaming. To make matters worse, it was the mail man. He had come to deliver a certified letter from the seller of this place asking we check a box typed on plain white paper noting our intentions regarding purchasing the empty lot behind our house. Okay, 1. If it would have been the USP guy delivering my J Crew bridesmaid dress for Kelly's wedding, that's one thing BUT seriously??? A certified letter asking me to check yes or NO?!?!?!?! ARE WE IN FIRST GRADE?
After what seems like 5 million signatures for the mail guy, I go get my screaming baby. Attempts to try and get him back asleep failed.
Thankfully I have amazing friends who brought over Starbucks along with their beautiful children to have an adult gab sesh and a mini playgroup - with Nick OOT (out of town), it helped the day fly by AND tired out my son. Oh, not to mention calm my nerves.
Incident #2
Time of incident: 2:15pm
Description of incident: Once my girlfriends left, around 12:30, Cruz was beyond ready for a nap. We ate lunch real quick then went straight to bed. About 1:15pm. I was SURE he would nap till at least 3 considering his morning nap was rudely interrupted. So, thinking I had all of this time, I figured I would shower and get myself ready for the day.
For those of you who read Home Salz, you may recall the post about how I would really love to live in a nudest colony...well at about 2:15pm I was standing in my bathroom, in the nude of course, curling my hair when low and behold THE DOOR BELL RINGS!
Are you effing kidding me?
Liam is freaking out and I am scrambling - like in a full blown panic - combing through my dirty clothes to try and find SOMETHING to wear before I surprise whoever might be at my door with my nude self.
I crack open the door in something that covers my lower half but flashes my right "girl".
It is an attic insulation salesman.
Really?
At this point Cruz is crying, Liam is trying to escape out of the front door and I am trying to cover my left boob so he isn't totally offended.
I get him to go away very quickly (this is where I almost kicked a hole in our hall closet door and punched Liam in the face) and run to my crying child who again, at no avail, is fully awake ready for juice and a snack.
Ready for the honest truth? I am so that mom...the mom who tip toes around the house, watches TV at an 7 or 8 volume level and actually shhh'es her dog. As if he really understands what Shhhhh, Liam even means.
To the please knock, sleeping baby mom? I am sorry for every rude, judgmental thought that ran through my head about you and your parenting. I hope this makes you feel a lot better....
Should be arriving at 311 N. Molter in 7 to 10 business days. Attention: Ashley Salzwedel.
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