18:20

I am pretty sure I have said this before but isn't funny that God knows exactly what you need and EVEN better, will give it to you if you ask???

In an effort to carry out my promise to you to be 100% transparent, I am going to take one second and REALLY give it to you. 

I have been a sucky wife as of late. 

Woah, right?

I want to blame it on a lot of things - stress, the big move, a human sized dog, an 8 month old, Martha Monthly, a sick and very tired husband - but  none of those things are an excuse to have a sharp tongue, to disrespect, to keep score, to blame, to be short and to not appreciate. 

It really slapped me in the face when talking with my mom. She called me on my crap and told me that I needed to do better. She then said something that really rocked my world. She told me that I needed to do better so that Nick wouldn't want better. 

OMG, I don't want Nick to want better...O.M.G.

Bottom Line: 

I need to be better not because I want my husband to write me love notes (which is SOOOO my love language and makes me happier than all the cupcakes in the world) or take me out on a date that he planned or put down his phone in bed and snuggle me or tell me that I am beautiful 5 times in one day. Which, let's be honest...that would be the best day of my life. But, no. I need to be better because God has called me to be a respectful wife. One who loves her husband unconditionally without asking for anything in return. One who doesn't keep score, will do anything that is asked of her and one who appreciates (how hard he works to provide for our family, how amazing he is at fathering our son...ect.).

So after apologizing to Nick, asking for some serious forgiveness, asking God for help - enter in yesterday. 

Keri Murphy, someone who I have known of since high school but was never really friends with until recently, had it on her heart to start a bible study/women's group/support/accountability group - God totally working...

And yesterday was the culmination of many facebook messages between 5 different women putting Keri's idea into action.

The highlight reel of last night could last hours. 

God has definitely blessed Keri the gift of hospitality. 

Gift of Hospitality: the special ability God gives some to provide an open home and warm welcome to those in need of food, lodging and fellowship. It involves a readiness to invite strangers to your home for the sake of the Gospel.

My favorite thing...again among many...was what Keri called "cheap love". 

She provided us all with mason jars to drink from. Attached to the glass was a bible verse. We were all instructed to take the glass home with us and every time we needed encouragement, a reminder of our time, conversation or a simple hug - take a drink from the glass. Really?!?!?! Amazing. 

At the end of some pretty fantastic conversation about our expectations it was decided that our first study would be centered around the book, Finding the Hero in Your Husband by Julianna Slattery.

Again...God working?

I love my husband so much and REALLY love my son. This is the life I know I was supposed to have. 

So so much, I want Cruz to see what a God-centered marriage looks like, how a wife should treat her husband and most importantly (because he is a boy, soon to be man) through the example of his father, how he is supposed to treat and love his wife. 

I am committed to loving my husband better. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can't believe I have been so stupid as to forget that. 

Thank you God and thank you Keri. 

I am so thankful for these women and can't wait to see what God has in store for me and for this beautiful group friends.

"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

Matthew 18:20