5 years

August 5, 2006, I married Nick Salzwedel at Arbor Crest Winery in Spokane, WA. To describe our journey as a whirlwind romance is putting it lightly...

Lauren knew Nick before I did. They worked together at the Daily Evergreen (WSU newspaper) as account executives Lauren and I's senior year (that's right folks...I am a cougar. Nick is a year younger than I am) selling advertising to local businesses.

Each day after I got out of class I would go visit Lauren at work for a few hours before I made my way back to Tri Harvey - our Tri Delta live-out. She introduced me to all of her co-workers including Nick in January of 2005 however I was in no shape to 'meet someone'. I had a giant sign on my forehead that said, NOT AVAILABLE. I acted like it too...

See, in January I was still holding out hope that the relationship I THOUGHT I had been in the last 7 years would work out. It didn't and in fact it ended in horrible fashion.

Therefore Nick and the rest of the Evergreen clan were just good friends.

Fast forward.

April, 2005: I was visiting Lauren like I did everyday. I was talking to Nick and asked him what happens when he gets mad. I will never forget it. I don't remember what his answer was, I just remember that once he was done answering the question the light bulb went on and the NOT AVAILABLE sign that was plastered on my forehead came crashing down.

HOLY CRAP - I liked him.

So pause for a sec - for those of you who know me, I am a question asker. Like, I ask you questions you probably have never been asked in your life. Why? I am curious. To me, questions mean I want to know about you and your life. I think you are interesting enough to ask you the most intrusive questions out there. One time I asked Nick's dad: On a scale of 1-10 how much do you dis-like your ex-wife if at all? Yeah, so inappropriate. BUT it was something I was honestly curious about. He smiled and didn't really answer the question but did. It was so great.

My theory is - if I ask you a question you don't want to answer, tell me you don't want to answer it. I will more than likely ask you why you don't want to answer - just warning. But still...

ANYWAY. As I was leaving Lauren's office that day I spilled the beans. "Lauren", I said, "I think I may like Nick. I don't know what my problem is. I asked him a question and the light bulb went on. OMG, please don't tell ANYONE. Please don't tell him".

She tells me that they are having a white trash party on Saturday and invites me. I SAY YES.

Saying yes to anything that was not 80's night at Valhalla on Saturday was SOOOOO out of character. My DDD sisters did 80's night every Saturday without fail. Wow...I must HAVE been interested.

I go the party and what do you know - Lauren had told Nick my little secret and I didn't know it. As a group, we drank, laughed and played stupid games. 1am comes along and people start finding places to sleep. Nick tells the group he is going to go upstairs. I am crazy shy, have no idea what I am doing and am shaking like a little leaf. Sick with 10th grade love.

Lauren is literally kicking me off the couch down stairs.

Lauren: Go upstairs and talk to him.

Ashley: No, I can't.

Lauren: Ashley, go upstairs right this second and talk to him.

Ashley: Are you sure, no....I don't think it is a good idea.

Lauren: GO UPSTAIRSSSSSSSSS, NOW!

Ashley: Geez...okkkkaaayyyyy. Come check on me in like 10 minutes.

Lauren: {smile} GO!

That decision to go upstairs sealed my fate.

Nick and I talked until 6am on the living room floor. We slept 2 hours then got up and went to breakfast.

The next week we went on our first official date. Sushi, Hitch and B&R chocolate peanut butter ice cream.

That was it folks. He proposed in October and we were married in August.

How did I know it was for real?

See my MO was to abort. When a guy would show interest, I would get totally freaked out and run back to comfort. That comfort was my 7 year guy. Comfort was what saved me in college from dating really gross frat dudes who only wanted me for you know what. While comfort guy broke my heart he really did save me from multiple broken hearts...honestly, who knows what my future could have been if I didn't have comfort guy.

To look at the positive, I believe comfort guy was in my life for me to meet and fall in love with Nick.

I never once thought about running after Nick and I had breakfast that one day in April. It was the total opposite. I was excited for him to call, nervous for him to show up on my door step and giddy when we would hold hands or kiss.

Nick Salzwedel was the first man who made me feel beautiful EVERY minute of every day. He made me feel talented, worthy, and so special. He made me feel worth it. He promised never to hurt me, never to leave me and to always protect me.

He still does all of those things to this day.

Nick, my love: After 6 years together, 5 years married, I am lucky enough to sleep next to you each night, wake up to your gorgeous face each morning, share my hopes and dreams with you, build a future with you, mother YOUR son, and love on you every day. I hope you are happy with the decision you made 5 years ago. I know I don't regret one second of our life together.

Happy 5 year anniversary to you, my very best friend.