Our 5th man

The Salz clan is a clan of 5. We have myself, Nick, Cruz, Bianca - our very first baby Nick gave to me at Clinks for my 24th birthday and while she wouldn't be ready to take home for another 3 weeks, I sobbed all over our garlic bread and chicken dijon...she was all I ever wanted - and Liam who just turned one in April. April 17, 2010 to be exact - the day before Suri Cruise's 4th birthday.

He is 100% our 5th man - LITERALLY our 5th MAN - because he is bigger than most adult women and taller than most little people. Wait, who am I kidding - he is taller than ALL little people. Liam Guy Salzwedel is our Great Dane.

First off, I claim full responsibility for bringing Liam home. I remember sitting on the living room floor of my parent's house on Newman Lake reading the Sunday paper. First mistake. The puppy classifieds no less. Second mistake.

There it was: an ad for blue Great Dane puppies - 11 of them. Reasonably priced in Coeur D' Alene. Ready to go to a loving home.

"NICKKKKK, OMGGG blue Great Danes. Let's go look!"

"Ashley, I don't think that is a good idea."

"OHHHH come on Nick, let's just go LOOK. We don't have to buy."

{HAAAAAAAAAA. I was full of CRAP clearrrrllyyyy. Lesson learned! We are the most impulsive buyers EVER. Rarely do we look and NOT buy.}

Against his better judgement, Nick allowed me to call on the ad, get directions and go visit these blue Dane puppies.

Upon arriving at this house on Harrison street we see the scariest sight ever - a mom and a dad Great Dane. The mom - she is actually on the small side so no biggie. THE DAD however - HOLY MOLY. Not only did his neck and head clear the fence for DAYSSSS but he immediately ran to the back as if to say: no you don't you chumps - let me be the judge of you.

Thank goodness there was a baby gate between the kitchen - where the 11 most DARLING blue Dane puppies were playing - and the back door or I would have ran out the house scared for my life. Winston, aka baby Dane daddy, was on the other side of that baby gate staring us down like we were a fatty piece of pork loin.

For a minute we watch these babies play, Nick asks a few questions and we pick out our puppy. The one in the corner alone with no friends. The chubby one with sad eyes.

Yes, that little chubby loner was our baby.

Nick picked him up and it was love at first sight. We talked some more, and left - a Great Dane is a great responsibility so we needed to think it over for the night. We kissed our little guy goodbye and went to sleep on it.

No kidding, ALL NIGHT I thought about this puppy. I was sad thinking about him not having any friends, about being the loner in the corner with no one to snuggle up to at night, about being abused and about not having a loving home to call his own. That was it. Screw the fact that Nick was not 100% on board and the fact we were living in a town home with a yard the size of daddy WINSTON, he was coming home to our family.

The next day after work, we grab the cash, drive out to Coeur D' Alene and pick up our buddy.

*In the car on our way home. 5 weeks old.

*After his first bath. 5 weeks old.

Due to the fact this was not our first Dane rodeo (we had a harlequin for 9 months before he suddenly passed away) we were able to get Liam through the transition from bio mommy & daddy to forever mommy & daddy rather smoothly. I am sure it was about this time I told Nick I wanted to quit my job and have a Great Dane farm. Excuse me? Was I high? Clearly I forgot what it was like to raise a baby Dane.

*6 weeks

*8 weeks

*6 months

*9 months

*1 year

Most days I want to drop kick him all up and down the 1,000 sq condo we are currently living in waiting to move into our almost new house.

• He barks louder than my car alarm - and it frequently wakes up his sleeping brother.
• His tail is like Indy's whip. He has whipped poor Lucy in the face a few times causing welts. Can't even begin to tell you the accidents he has had with Cruz.
• When he steps on my feet, which he does every two seconds, it feels like a cement block just fell from 50 feet in the air.
• When he barfs, it is like cleaning up a spilled gallon of chunky, spoiled milk.
• His number 2 is the size of a horse crap and he goes three times a day.
• He has ruined multiple hundreds of dollars worth of clothing, shoes, furniture, carpet and yard.
• He has tripped me more times that I care to count.
• I am always finding short grey hairs on Cruz's bottle nipples, binkies and chew toys -SICK!
• He is allergic to grain which means he needs organic, grain free food. Yes, that is 9 CUPS OF expensive grain free food a DAY!

So what stops me besides the fact that he would beat ME up if we got into a fight?

The little chubby loner back in the Harrison st. house, looking at this face and thinking about the fact that Liam has been there through some of our most special moments like the day when Cruz came home from the hospital.

At the end of the day, he is our big baby boy - our little lover, playmate (wrestling partner for dad) protector and who can forget - Cruz's very best friend.

All of those reasons are why Liam Guy Salzwedel is our 5th man.